Diversity
While a strong believer in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI), I have been fortunate to have lived and worked in an environment where my thoughts, actions and feelings have been judged on merit rather than perceptions, inequality and/or prejudice. Throughout my work as a child advocate and fighting for children in the foster system, I witnessed the pain of intolerance, but candidly, I still felt somewhat removed from day to day struggles of the children I supported.
My feelings toward DEI changed the day my daughter came home from school in tears feeling “less than” because of the color of her skin. You see, my daughter is adopted from foster care and is bi-racial. We were living in a small rural town where all the little girls had clear skin and light hair. She was different, and instead of being celebrated for her differences, she was made to feel inferior.
My daughter’s brave act of expressing her feelings to me changed my entire view of DEI and the part communication plays in tolerance and social justice. Her comments to me showed the importance of DEI communication:
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DEI through communication brings about clarity and understanding of others, even when those feelings may not be self-evident. I did not notice the homogenous make up of her class, mainly because I do not see my daughter as different from anyone else. Her comments brought to life the importance of seeing other’s perspectives, even when I may not have appreciated the inequality
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DEI in communication can also be an agent for change. My daughter’s words prompted us to take action and move her to a school with a more diverse study body. We then made a point to ensure that her future activities included a well-represented group of children from all walks of life. By changing her surroundings, we provided a safe space for her to learn and grow
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DEI in communication often leads to a greater sense of community. In her new school, our daughter is exposed to many different languages, cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds. These experiences have shaped her into a well rounded young girl, who is tolerant of others, open to new ideas, and confident in who she is.
Through my daughter’s simple words, I have learned to be more tolerant of others, create safe spaces and seek out opportunities to change things for the better. I am excited to see where she goes in life and am thankful the girl she is and the woman she is going to be.
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Photo on the right: My beautiful little girl
Relationships
Personal relationships have always been hard for me. I tend to be someone that stays to myself and will not allow myself to get close to another. This stems from trust issues that came from my childhood. During my life, I have learned to communicate by going to counseling and learning to get it out and not keeping it in. Still easier said than done!
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I met my husband, Bryan some years ago while attending a Sunday school class in Houston, Texas. Bryan is a talker, whereas I keep things to myself. For the first couple of years, I really had to learn to adapt to his style and learn to communicate, something that was very foreign to me. It was Bryan that taught me to truly open up and learn to express myself, all while feeling safe and secure.
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During the last few years at the University of Alabama, my communication classes have really taught me to be open to new ideas, which work great in my relationship with my husband. It’s not always my way or the highway anymore. I have also learned to encourage open communication and have respectful dialogue.
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As an online student, active listening has really come handy, as I am constantly writing discussion postings as a communication tool with my classmates, as well as the responses and feedback I get on my discussion postings. Communication Studies has really taught me to be open on feedback, especially when it comes to being critiqued.
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I would say the last two years at the University of Alabama, I have completely surprised myself with learning to communicate effectively. Something I am proud of and didn’t think it was possible for myself. Even in my personal relationship with my husband, I have learned to grow as a person and have the most amazing, fun, loving relationship with my soulmates and best friend in the entire world.
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Photo on the left: My wonderful husband, Bryan and I on Valentine's Day
Leadership
Throughout my life, I have had the opportunity to work with and lead executives. As the chief of staff to the CEO of a major healthcare system, a senior executive of one of the largest school systems in Texas, and a senior child advocate, I have a unique understanding of the pressures that come with having such heavy responsibility. Couple that with being married to a Senior Partner at a global consultancy, the day to day stress and anxiety can sometimes be difficult to handle.
For many years, my husband and looked for a group who shared our beliefs but could also relate to the difficulties that come with being an executive. We would attend small groups and while we enjoyed their teachings, we often had to hide our experiences for fear that they would be viewed as “first-world problems.”
About a year ago, we decided that we would take matters into our own hands…if we could not find a group that fits us, we would start a group on our own and see where God leads…Initially, the church thought we were crazy, but we persevered, and to our surprise, we got an overwhelming response! Turns out we were not alone, there were a lot of senior executives looking for community. God has blessed our group to the point that we have had to temporarily stop taking on new members.
While all glory goes to God for blessing us with such a great group of individuals, I feel that He has also allowed me to use the skills I learned in COM to help lead and grow our group. Normally, I would be shy about reaching out to complete strangers, but I now feel confident in my abilities to engage with group members and organize lessons. I often use my presentation and public speaking skills to lead the class and also utilize the lessons I learned in rhetoric to engage in lively discussions.
Who knows what is next for our group but I am thankful for the skills learned through my Comms classes at UA. Roll Tide and God Bless
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Photo to the right: The small group my husband and I lead. This has not only been a Bible Study group, but a group of Executives we have come to love and call our dear friends.
